Nine days. In nine days I will be a bride. In ten days I will wake up a wife- his wife.

What am I doing writing a blog post when I’m in the single digit countdown? I should be focusing on getting things done for the big day! But I wanted to tell you all: it gets better. Three weeks ago I was pulling out my hair, groaning to myself that the wedding couldn’t be over fast enough. All I wanted was to be married and be done. But this week has been the best week ever. I’m finding myself more in love every day. I’m like a giddy little girl. As you start to see the light at the end of the tunnel, the joy comes back. Everything becomes fun again. Like, so fun. We can both feel the adventure starting.

So consider this a word of encouragement. You’re going crazy finding the right votives. Your florist won’t call you back. Your caterer isn’t catching your vision. But guess what? At some point, you’ll be nine days away, waking up every morning like a kid on Christmas, stomach filled with butterflies, just excited to see your love.

Hold on tight! It will be a whirlwind but it’s so full of joy and excitement. And then- you get to be a bride.

Photo via Bridal Guide

We’re now less than three weeks away from the wedding and people keep asking me how I’m feeling. Consistently, I hear myself saying, “I just want to be married” or even worse, “I want it to be over.”

Honestly, now, what is my problem? I am so excited to marry my man and so excited to share that special day with my community. So what is the deal? I think my issue is I want to have my cake and eat it to. I want to be married, planning a wedding. I want to have the stability and sense of calm of being a wife, while having the giddiness and fun of being a fiancée. When the stress kicks in, the former always seems to outweigh the latter, but the truth is I want both.

What’s a girl to do? How does one, while anxiously awaiting the new season of life that the wedding will bring, enjoy the anticipation of the season before? I don’t know. I don’t have an answer for this one. I definitely resonate with what Lady Jess said about the weeks leading up to the wedding. It’s a mix of emotions and it’s not quite what you might expect.

The single thing that has been most helpful to me is remembering to slow down. Take each day as an individual opportunity to connect with your wedding party and family, to fall deeper in love with your partner, to tackle some project that’s been weighing on your mind. Just take it that day. Deal in 24 hour blocks. It’s easy to keep the countdown winding in your mind, but in my case the constant ticking was starting to make me pretty crazy.

I don’t want to look back on this season and regret projecting in the future and not enjoying the present. I’m far from mastering it, but I still have a few weeks to savor the moments. I’ll get to eat my cake, but I’m trying to wait with joy and expectation in the meantime.

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I just got back from a grueling run that I did not enjoy at all. And as I was climbing my infinitieth hill I had an epiphany that there was something wrong there. The mantra I have been using to push through my workouts lately has been “26 days. 26 days. 26 days” or whatever the count may be. The problem? What happens on day 27 (i.e. after the wedding)?

I started trying to get in shape for the wedding so I could be the best I could be for my fiancé that day: mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. And I think it’s really beautiful that women get in top shape for their mates who are already committed to them, no matter their size. That shows a deep level of care and respect for the other that I can appreciate.

But somewhere along the way I stopped working out for him and I started pushing through because I’d had one too many people ask me what I was doing to get in shape for the wedding, seen one too many bridal magazine with a borderline-unhealthily thin woman on the cover, received one too many emails from this or that website about ways to lose the weight before the big day. I’m realizing that I am obsessed in an unhealthy way with looking thin on my wedding day because I associate the word “bride” with the idea of “skinny.”

We live in a culture that is oddly fixated with people’s weights. It only takes a couple of minutes in the grocery store line glancing at the glossy magazine covers to underscore that fact. And I’m not saying that every bride who starts a fitness regimen before the wedding is buying into that cultural fascination, but I am trying to point out (maybe more for myself than anyone else) that brides are beautiful not because they are skinny, but because they are brides. They are loved. They are cherished. And a whole community is gathering to celebrate that beauty.

So am I going to stop trying to get in shape for the wedding? No. But I am going to use a new mantra. I want to be the best I can be for my groom after the wedding, too. On that 27^th day I want to wake up and know that we will keep growing and stretching together. And I think that’s where the beauty truly lies.

Photo via Fashion Forever

[co-penned with my fiancé, Tyler Goff]

Marriage is a…

Battle,

Covenant,

Blessing,

Challenge,

Etc.

If you’ve ever seen a movie about weddings/marriage/love, you’ve probably heard one of the above sayings. These comparisons aren’t necessarily wrong; marriage is such a big deal that it makes sense we use such grandiose terms to describe it. The thing is, in a lot of ways, marriage and love are simple things too: you love someone, you feel a connection, and you act on it. And that’s why we offer up this more sophomoric idiom:

Marriage is a sandbox.

When you were a little kid, you would sit in the sandbox and comb your Barbie’s hair or chew on your Hot Wheels. It was a pleasant existence with only a handful of major laws governing your actions. The most important of the Sandbox Laws was: “Share your toys.” Don’t keep that not-so-anatomically correct doll to yourself! Let your pal have a go combing the tangles out of its synthetic hair!

The point of this analogy is that a marriage that doesn’t follow that same Sandbox Law is going to be trouble. You need to find a way to share everything: from movies to books, from activities to your side of the bed. The problem is that sometimes it can be hard to line your interests up with someone else’s.

It might take some time to figure out how to share bank accounts and split your time between your families, but if you start small, learning to share becomes a lot easier. What you do with your leisure time can be a great place to start, especially in our media-saturated culture. Let’s think about TV for a second. You might not like hockey as much as he does and he probably didn’t enjoy “Say Yes to the Dress” before you were married, so why would he now? But there is a middle ground, and we would like to suggest you two find where that ground lies and snuggle up there- maybe with some popcorn and a bottle of wine.

Want help? Here are some of our suggestions:

Movies You Can Both Enjoy:

Moonrise Kingdom: the kids? so cute. the vibe? so rad. the effect? so moving.

Oceans 11, 12 & 13: smart and sexy, the soundtrack alone is worth the watch… and then there’s Brad Pitt

Star Trek Into Darkness: nerdy, exciting, and packed with beautiful people of both genders

Midnight in Paris: uplifting and thoughtful, you could even watch this with your families

The Avengers: some seriously epic CGI and some seriously hot people in spandex

TV Shows You Can Both Enjoy:

Once Upon a Time: epic battles (for him) and strong female characters and fairytale homages (for her)

Xena: Warrior Princess: female empowerment (for her) in really skimpy clothing (for him)

Scrubs: both bromantic and romantic

Moone Boy: this is a new one for us, but so far it’s a great mix of dry humor and touching moments

The New Girl: like a romantic comedy with way more dude-friendly humor

All Images via IMdb

Wedding dreaming has become synonymous with my morning cup of coffee. I wake up with it and get a craving if I don’t have it. The Knot has become my new Instagram, and I’m starting to think I have an addiction. So when I head to the office, it’s hard to keep my mouse off that Pinterest tab. I think I’ll just look for a few minutes… and then an hour passes.

So this forces me to pose the question to myself and other brides- what are the ethics regarding doing some wedding planning during the work day? I mean, it is a special occasion. And you won’t have it as a distraction forever. But I have to wonder why when my boss comes over I switch to a different window.

What should we do? Is a few minute, here and there, okay? For example, some calls simply have to be taken during business hours. So maybe that’s the line- only do what absolutely has to be done during the day. And then there’s Pinterest, that eternal fount of temptation. I can’t be the only one ogling other people’s weddings from my desk, right?

Maybe I need some motivating wallpaper. Or just a couple sticky notes. Or, simply, some self-control. But mostly, I think I could use some advice. What are your thoughts on working on the wedding while at work? Does it make you feel productive? Guilty?

If you’re like me, and have complicated emotions around using your work day to get things done for the big day, what have you been doing to create a balance? Do you allow yourself a certain numbers of minutes or to-do list items? Are only certain sites allowed? I’d love to know how some fellow brides have been or are handling this temptation.

Danielle Moss’ Desk via The Everygirl // Motivational Wallpaper via My Attic // DVF Desk via This Is Glamorous