[co-penned with my fiancé, Tyler Goff]
Marriage is a…
Battle,
Covenant,
Blessing,
Challenge,
Etc.
If you’ve ever seen a movie about weddings/marriage/love, you’ve probably heard one of the above sayings. These comparisons aren’t necessarily wrong; marriage is such a big deal that it makes sense we use such grandiose terms to describe it. The thing is, in a lot of ways, marriage and love are simple things too: you love someone, you feel a connection, and you act on it. And that’s why we offer up this more sophomoric idiom:
Marriage is a sandbox.
When you were a little kid, you would sit in the sandbox and comb your Barbie’s hair or chew on your Hot Wheels. It was a pleasant existence with only a handful of major laws governing your actions. The most important of the Sandbox Laws was: “Share your toys.” Don’t keep that not-so-anatomically correct doll to yourself! Let your pal have a go combing the tangles out of its synthetic hair!
The point of this analogy is that a marriage that doesn’t follow that same Sandbox Law is going to be trouble. You need to find a way to share everything: from movies to books, from activities to your side of the bed. The problem is that sometimes it can be hard to line your interests up with someone else’s.
It might take some time to figure out how to share bank accounts and split your time between your families, but if you start small, learning to share becomes a lot easier. What you do with your leisure time can be a great place to start, especially in our media-saturated culture. Let’s think about TV for a second. You might not like hockey as much as he does and he probably didn’t enjoy “Say Yes to the Dress” before you were married, so why would he now? But there is a middle ground, and we would like to suggest you two find where that ground lies and snuggle up there- maybe with some popcorn and a bottle of wine.
Want help? Here are some of our suggestions:
Movies You Can Both Enjoy:
Moonrise Kingdom: the kids? so cute. the vibe? so rad. the effect? so moving.
Oceans 11, 12 & 13: smart and sexy, the soundtrack alone is worth the watch… and then there’s Brad Pitt
Star Trek Into Darkness: nerdy, exciting, and packed with beautiful people of both genders
Midnight in Paris: uplifting and thoughtful, you could even watch this with your families
The Avengers: some seriously epic CGI and some seriously hot people in spandex
TV Shows You Can Both Enjoy:
Once Upon a Time: epic battles (for him) and strong female characters and fairytale homages (for her)
Xena: Warrior Princess: female empowerment (for her) in really skimpy clothing (for him)
Scrubs: both bromantic and romantic
Moone Boy: this is a new one for us, but so far it’s a great mix of dry humor and touching moments
The New Girl: like a romantic comedy with way more dude-friendly humor
All Images via IMdb