I’m so sorry for today’s late post!!! But I promise I’m making it up to you RIGHT NOW! I can’t even begin to tell you how excited I am to share this real wedding with you. Not only have I developed a web-crush on both Stacy Sodolak of SMS Photography and Kate Moynahan of Elefantites Alegres, but now I get to share with you Stacy’s photos of Kate’s wedding AND Kate’s post-wedding advice to all of you brides out there. Kate is unbelievably hilarious, and is in fact our very own Fashionista Vista. I know you’re going to love her wedding and what she’s got to say. Without further ado, here is Kate!
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K’s Do’s & Don’ts of Wedding Perfection(ish)
(1) if you’re early in the planning stages… decide want you want before interviewing vendors. yep, this sounds obvious, but i was one of those chicas that was so excited to begin planning that i jumped right in with both feet without considering exactly what sort of look and feel i (ummm “we”? well, whatevs) really wanted. those early vendor interviews and visits were by far the most frustrating of the entire process. so do an impromptu guest-count, clip your magazine photos, make some lists – whatever it takes to get at least a vague idea of your ideal celebration – before you start trying to cross off big-ticket-decision-items… trust me: it will save you lots of tears / bottles of wine / pathetic, sissy “but i just want it to be perfeeeeeect” whines.
(2) and while you’re at it… do what you want! i tried to post about this a while back, and Mags just recently said it ever-so-much-more-eloquently than i… but plan the wedding that you and your fiance want – not what a magazine, or your mother, or a blogger, or your friends want. so time to cowboy-up, girlie, and make your celebration your own.
(3) surround yourself with good people. it doesn’t matter if your florist was featured in Martha Stewart Weddings / the Knot / Modern Bride / Whatever… if she’s a total bitch or a space-cadet who sucks at returning emails or doesn’t take your ideas seriously, then the planning process is going to be a whole lot more stressful than necessary. hire people who you click with – who get you and your “vision”… as totally lame as i felt, i knew immediately who my vendors were if their eyes lit up when i said “Midnight Garden Party Hosted by Anthropologie” (hush your face, i’m not good at verbalizing “themes,” alright?). it may sound cheeseball, but planning a wedding with people who i legitimatly enjoyed as human beings made the process all that much joyous and fun.
(4) play nice – it pays off. and i’m not just talking about the Karma Department (although your family, friends and fiance – aka “the F Trifecta” – will be infinitely grateful if you keep the Bridezilla Moments to a minimum) – being a non-diva can literally pay off bigtime. 2 weeks before the wedding, we got the call that we were thousands of dollars under our anticipated budget. yep: you heard me correctly – a couple of rent payments to spare! why, you ask? first-off because our wedding coordinator Gina is a total badass, but also because we got a ton of bees with honey! apparently wedding vendors don’t often encounter super-pleasant people (which, dude, sucks – you’re getting married – freakin’ smile!) – so communicating your wants and needs without being a total Mariah Carey about the whole ordeal will take you far. this is not to say i was a total peach for 15 mo., but professionalism and personality will make it easy for vendors to throw in a little something extra!
(5) here’s a thought: look like you! so i have sausage arms. i (very sadly) will never be Michelle Obama. even during the thinnest phases in my life, my arms remain thick-ish comparatively. this is just a fact of my existence. of course, wanting to look my best on our wedding day, i hired a trainer, cut (a few) carbs, and amped up the cardio. and i felt beautiful and fit on March 28… but, yep, there they are, in some of our pictures: the sausage arms. sure, i could have denied myself every sweet, every ounce of pasta, every glass of wine in the months leading up to the wedding, but (a) i would have been a total bitch-beast, and (b) Waif K is not me. looking back at our wedding photos 20 years from now, i’d rather see myself – sausage arms and all – than some uber-skinny girl i don’t recognize. the same goes for your makeup, hair, and dress – choose a look that makes you feel gorgeous as you – not what you think a “bride” should look like. plus, you have to give your photog something to PhotoShop!
(6) if this is up your alley, take pictures before! hands-down, best wedding decision we made! it made the waiting around before the ceremony go so much faster, it put both of us at ease for the ceremony, it was fun (!), and we had much more time to hang out with our guests. people were very divided on this topic but i have absolutely no regrets – the moments we shared during our “first glimpse” were priceless (ie: the first coherent words out of Evs’ mouth were “do you like my tie?” ummmmm, yes honey, i was with you when you bought it… do you like, oh, i don’t know… my wedding dress???) and i just know i would have been anxious and fidgety during family pictures had they occurred during cocktail hour. probably not a decision that is right for everyone but it worked swimmingly for us!
(7) this one’s a “duh” but… don’t sweat the small stuff. things will go wrong on your super-special-princess-day. several things went astray on our day. if you pull on your big girl panties and roll with the punches, the day’s going to be a lot more enjoyable and you’ll laugh about the snafus much sooner than if you pout. case in point: my veil snagged on my way down the aisle with my dad – literally snapping my head back in a very big, very ungraceful, very un-bride-like way – i’m 112% positive that i looked like a retarded string puppet. so yeah, embarrassing, and yeah, typical… but one massive fist-pump and a very loud “i’m okay!” later, dad and i were rolling back on down the aisle. turns out… this was actually one of my favorite moments of the day – it cut the emotional tension and made everyone laugh – and i am nothing if not the class clown. so rock on with your bad imperfect self – it feels good!
(8) don’t worry – you’re still you! sounds weird but the dweepy sociology freak / quasi-feminist in me was worried about how being a wife would make me feel… would it be different? would it be weird? would i immediately have an urge to prance around the house in a frilly apron with a feather duster, martini ready and waiting for my man to come home? fear not, friends! although i have recently dabbled in pot roast, it turns out that i am the same sarcastic, crabby-in-the-morning, neat-freak, addicted-to-crap-tv, stubborn-ass girl that i was 3 weeks ago! and Evs is still the same know-it-all, crotchety, goes-to-bed-at-9-PM-on-Sundays, moody-when-hungry, infuriatingly-rational man he was 3 weeks ago! score!
there you have it… my spiel. for what its worth.
okay, soapbox away. thank you for letting me Play Bride for one more moment! cookies for all of you!