After a reader’s comment on my previous post, Why we’re getting a prenup, I realized it would be worthwhile to mention exactly what goes in a prenup (besides equal parts love and respect) if you don’t own anything of extraordinary monetary value. But before we continue Ladies, a disclaimer: I’m not a prenup expert. And if you are, please do chime in below!
For my fiancé and I, prenups were never about the stuff, and who gets what if we ever go our separate ways. They are much more about how to treat each other if that ever happened. And trust me, adopting that mindset will make discussions about prenups so much easier.
If you want to broach the subject of prenuptial agreements with your fiancé, here are a few things we talked about and included in our own prenuptial agreement:
Prenuptial and postnuptial assets // Prenuptial assets: Any assets we acquired before our marriage. Say, if I owned property, or my own business, if I had investments, savings, or even some art I really liked before we tied the knot. What would happen to them in a divorce? Postnuptial assets: Any assets we acquired after our marriage. How would we divide up houses, cars, investments, savings, or all that artwork we bought together? It’s important to remember to stay cool headed during this part, and that even things that aren’t worth a lot monetarily – but are significant to either of you – should still be discussed.
Spousal support payments // Would we pay spousal support payments? Under what conditions (i.e. unemployment, disability). Who would pay? For how long (e.g. indefinitely, 6 months, 1 year)? Remember to check spousal support payment laws in your province/country/state.
Children and pets // While we aren’t currently planning on having children, if we did, when would we revise our prenuptial agreement to include them (e.g. before or after they are born)? Who gets ‘custody’ of pets? Would there be ‘pet support’ payments if we split?
Avoiding distress during the divorce process // You might also talk to your partner about whether or not to use lawyers in the event of a divorce, and if you feel you might want or need to, are there any restrictions on who you hire? (e.g. a friend or family member who’s a lawyer). You could also have a discussion about what you would feel comfortable about discussing publicly (say, if one of you is a writer!) if you ever split. Basically, anything that helps you set guidelines for how to treat your future-selves with love and respect is worth talking about.
Now it’s your turn. Have you talked about prenuptial agreements with your fiancé?
What did you discuss? Let’s tear this taboo down.